STRAIGHT TURN

Punyanagari 2....rickshaw unplugged

2008-04-14T05:44:00.001-07:00

Nw heres the second idiotic part of my pune sojourn...

Flashback: (in black n white)...
i m called to pune for scmhrd gdpi...i reach pune station wid ma frend alok,,,..desperately seekin
a pmt bus ...we finally catch an auto...BUT we missed his wicked smile....
AB AAGE.....................................................

the rickshaw tries to cut thru peak pune mornin traffic....unlike mumbai...pune solely depends on personal vehicles and public transport...so all the more traffic menace
the journey provides a glimpse of changin face of pune...the old waadas co-existing with the new multistoried glass buildings...(glad to see a guy stil spittin on the walls of a hi-tech office compound....places change...ppl dnt?) co-incidently most of the spit in pune is observed on "yethe thoonku naye " (do not spit here) boards...

many roads have been simultaneously dug....n wrk on most of them has been held up due to some reason or the other...(officials of pune municipal corporation pat themselves for their duur-drishti..wrk on all roads at once = faster wrk...(huh...traffic snarls))
lookin at the city of my birth...i got nostalgic...(no family serial business pls..)..neways we conveniently forgot to look at an important thing ...the PUNE RICKSHAW METER...(stress on pune) ..the meter ws ticking like a race-timer....i wonderd to alok abt it....bt i said even i m a punekar....like lokmanya tilak...i too will fight for justice...whatevrr....

nw since i stay in mumbai ...i too am used to autos...n their meter readings...follwin mumbai rates...the meter had already ticked 150 bucks....(even train travel to pune costs 65 bucks)
n finally after much askin here n ther...we finally saw a board of Symbiosis Institutes...felt relieved wen reached ther...
nw..the important part payin auto...i said nt more than 40 bucks...auto walla ws startled at my bravery,...non punekars dnt argue wid pune autos....after much bargainin n he swearin on ambabai...we gave him 52 bucks..
(HOW TO CALCULATE PUNE AUTO FARE??
I lrnt this l8r frm my didi...who ws at the interview process team ...
ok heres the golden formula....for first time for public viewing...
whatver the meter reading...multiply dat by 6....divide it by 10 & after that add 2 bucks....
n lo u r the pune rickshaw fare champ...to fight for the poor looted by these monsters!)

n finally we left the auto...n walked towards the insti feelin happy wid da bargain...
i saw the rickshaw...on its rear ,message was written...

...kar bhalaa so ho bhalaa....(wid a face of man wid a wicked smile)

.....to be contd...

punyanagri 2...

2008-04-14T05:44:00.000-07:00

PUNYANAGARI !!...(the city of good karma) part 1

2008-02-13T07:24:00.000-08:00

PUNE......is abt 200 km frm mumbai...bt has existence of its own....n its reference goes back wid the history...... frm being the capital of Marathas n the Peshwas ..to being the recent IT capital...on the brink of overthrowin bengaloruu...
( a new lore in pune goes....if u throw a stone in the crowd, 9 out 10 times..it will hit an IT guy..no wonder IT has taken a hit nowadays... bad one..)

Neways dn wid pune intro....why did i land up there?...
first...some basics..
1) i m not new to pune...i was born in bhor taluka in pune...(nw no questions hw n why..dis is nt bollywood)...so i can be called a citizen of pune..by Principia Natura...dunno if dats correct..bt it shd mean citizenship by birth.
2) i had flat in pune till recently v sold dat off...why ..bcos the neighbours ther wernt sexy...no lame reasons man..
3)..i love pune...its ppl..its colleges..(der was a time i was seriously considerin doin engg at coep,pune....bcos it has a boat club in its campus...which other collg can boast bout that?)

so...if i m already a punekar...
(pls dnt make it puneite...it is criminal offence to call a citizen of pune by that name...)....whats new if i visit it once again...
there lies the fun....the thing is u cant get enuff of pune..in a lifetym..4get a in a few days stayin there)

my MISSION in pune:
my numerous hazardous attempts at givin every goddamn mba entrance exam paid off....finally some lower rung exam like snap..which the serious mba toppers avoid...made me the intelligent lame cow among calves...(srry for literal translation of marathi idiom )
...so...i got a GDPI call from symbiosis institutes...(some b-magazines list it 4th rank...among mba institutes in india...while some other magazines say..whers dat?)
point is ,,,since i m expectin a call frm better institutes in near future(...dats infinite time,..)i thot this wud b an opportunity to have a good match-practice..n so...

nw the intrview is in that part of pune..which i m not greatly familiar with....
add to that...the institute doesn clarify well the address of intrview process...

so i reach pune wid my friend alok....who had taken the same batch as mine for the process,,,who gave up his volvo dreams to accompany me by train to pune...n trust me the journey sucks wen its for a interview...dat tooo on chilld winter mornin..i cribbingly wore my "main hoon naa" imitation sweater...

nw at pune station...we ask for the bus to reach the place...
n i swear..all the ppl..we asked, guided us to diffrnt places ( so finally we ended up circling the station itself)....phew....n whats more they told us diffrnt bus numbers too...
some said 13, some 24, some 204, some 365....finally we wer like on seeing the bus...checking it frm the growin list of numbers we had...
.n Usool no. 1...everybody in pune..tells everything wid conviction n confidence..even if they dnt have the slightest idea of what that is....
so, frustrated...we ask the pmt( pune municipal transport?) conductor sittin in a tapri....n his reply....he spits out the red blood paan spray...some drops narrowly miss my special intrview pants...i frowned...bt he murmurs somethin as our answr....well i dunno what language was dat..bt surely nt marathi,hindi,english,gujarati or kannada..alok still doubts dat to be a paan accented tribal language...newayz i gues he was a bad conductor....oh bad one again...

neways wid the co-operation receivd frm ur friendly neighbourhood conductor....we decided to try our luck directly at a big bus-stop ahead...correction the stop wasnt big....bt the crowd in frnt was....as if some movie shoot was on....neways....
(NOTE: Usool 2: wen in pune....be at ur stingy best...irrespective of u havin a swiss bank acount....bt we wer early ..so dint take an auto...n decided to try our luck..wid bus)
we finally receive the appropriate bus no...dat too ,frm school kid...yes sarva shiksha abhiyaan is rite on track...
a big BUT.....the bus we wanted had just left...n ther wasnt going to be one..for an hour or so....

so relenting to fate...remember we had wrse to follow at gdpi....we decided to take n auto...

bt since i was a ded shaana guy...i enquired the rate of auto to go to the place wid ppl b4...so confidently sat in an auto ....
i dint notice...the wicked smile on auto-wallas face...ther was more to it...
..............................................................................................................................(to be contd.)

blog RESTART

2008-01-25T19:40:00.000-08:00

finally after 5-6 months of lull on my blog ...i return to it ...for i a host of reasons ....primarily
1) i shifted to a new bigger house....
2) i got new and sexy neighbours...
3) i screwd up cmfortably in CAT,XAT ,FMS,IIFT,JMET n blah blah....whatevr possible mba entrance exams...so nothing left to do to while away my time...
4) my fone bill is more sky-rocketting than cheap mumbai taxi meters...
5) my new year resolution states no more junk food....
6) today republic day offers all the more reason to go public...huh..bad one again...
7) i have run out of episodes of prisonbreak...
8) tata nano will be out on roads only after nov 08.

AMMORES PASSPORTES…..

2007-07-01T10:21:00.001-07:00

Now this is interesting……I am finally elated that after months of delay….due to technical reasons(huh…technical)..i applied for the passport….

N usherin India In the 21^st century…one is quite bogged down wid the IT hoopla n

e-governance associated wid it…huh..bottomline…they have SIMPLIFIED(?) the PROCESS..by online application procedure.

I was pleased wid the online form which gave exact time of appointment…

Ppl…the form gives u a time at which u have to report to submit the form..

I dreamt of the simple way of appplyin for passport..

My dream:

1) passport office is least crowded ….since u have APPOINTMENT..u dnt worry about LINE n stuff…

2) POLITE customer representatives guiding the the lay-man wid the required documents.

3) The atmosphere is pleasing…the wall posters show pics of various international cities n u stand there dreaming a plane to catch for the same…

Huh….but my dream was conspired against n not fulfilled,

courtesy Ministry of external affairs,Govt. of India.

REALITY:

1) passport office was ballooning wid ppl….u must have visit there to see just how many ppl wanna fly outta here…the line was a serpentine queue…like some rationing line…or someone said “ morning call” line in a chawl….

2) The officers there …..hmm…they belong to class knwn as “ impoliteness in our blood”…HELP is the last thing they can ever do…

Added monstrosity: u have to get a sign on ur documents frm a short thick man wid Charlie moustache…”decendant of HITLER” is written on his face….like a crazy bull-dog he BARKS on every person who goes 2 him….an agent said to me “if he doesn bark at u, b aassured that ur form is gonna get rejected…”

3) the office is crowded….wid the police shoving us…like we r some bhaiyya

gettinng down frm some mahanagri express…again POLITENESS is the word of

the day…

RESULT:

after 3 hours in the line….n 2 n half hours after my scheduled time…I finally reached the counter….the clock showed “LUNCH TIME”…I for the first time in my life …started prayin fervently..to delay the lunch time…

N GOODNESS GRACIOUS SAKES ALIVE….the lady behind the counter smiled……n like some goddess in some ramanand sagar serial….said “ child ,dnt worry, I will do it”… was I hearing right?…at the moment I felt all the pain against sloth government offices vanish ….i had found a person defyin government standards…I felt like rewardin her with 100 bucks…(but I rerfrained frm doing it as dat wud considerd BRIBE)…my work was done…n went straight to a hotel for a treat.

CONCLUSION

Our mother India loves us very much…n our government (ministry of external affairs) plays like a big brother n helps our mother from not parting away wid her children(dats us) to other mothers(dats other countries we aim 4).

.As a part of the plan…it complicates the passport process…

one has to be really determined to clear dat hurdle…

I cleared it….may GOD give u the strength ..

Kool quotient in gods country

2007-06-12T00:06:00.001-07:00

hey...if nebodys wonderin in how to be kool in kerala in terms of attire...
here are some kool dressing tips for boys....
( a mallu gal confided these appealin tips to me on condtions of anonymity)

1) moustache + lungi == kool

2) moustache + beard + lungi+ heavy gold chain == super kool

3) moustache+ beard + lungi + heavy gold chain + harley davidson belt on lungi == ultra cool

4) moustache+ beard+ lungi+ heavy gold chain + harley davidson belt on lungi + riding sports bike == mallu superstar

Kerala trip n the couple undis....part 2

2007-06-11T23:59:00.001-07:00

some more facts bout kerala::

5)kerala is spectacularly clean state......pls dont litter n spoil tourist places...
( Wen i accidently threw down a wrapper on the road....the taxiwallah said..."sir, this is not mumbai"...INSULTING BUT VERY TRUE..)
(ppl of mumbai may note....kerala has NO STRAY DOGS N NO HAWKERS CLOGGING ROADS.....ppl fed by both these menaces may consider shiftin to kerala)

6)water n coconuts everywhere....in every frame u can imagine...

7)NO BOLLYWOOD PLEASE: in kerala they have their own big film industry..i gues MALLUWOOD...churnin out more movies than bollywood......film stars MOHANLAL N MAMMOOTY are worshipped after LORD AYYAPPA..

8) if u are fat , have a moustache or beard....then u are perfect hero material in kerala....or atleast u can try ur luck in hoards on mallu channels springing up everyday

for girls more scope…if u r little bit fair…n sort of slim…n have good attitude ….then u are as rare as a DODO.. in kerala…wen u wake up next morn u are mallu superstar..

9) in almost every temple in kerala...men are required to go bare chested wearing only a lungi,,...n women are required to wear sarees...so dnt forget takin lungis n sarees with u on sight seeing everyday...

10) boats are a essential part of life n tourism in kerala....almost every alternate day...u wud be sitting in a boat...

Kerala trip n the couple undis....

2007-06-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

hey,....me recently been to kerala n trust me ,
if those ktdc(duh...kerala tourism development corp.) ppl...aggresively advertise it as Gods' country....
they do it...bcos...it truly is....be there to believe it..!!

here are some of basic facts n tips for kerala..

1) kerala is a very beautifull place...pls dont make the blundr of carryin cheap cameras or depending on ur cam phones.....pls carry a proper digi cam....with zoom n all features

2) if u want a bit of reality....dnt book ur tour....just travel alone wid family there....(the advantage of doin this is of course going alone does make ur tour flexible n cost effective ..also..u get to experience the real life...the fun in not knwing the language thre...n still wanting to convey something...) me just booked the return tickets....n other everything of tour we decided there....of course...we followed the pattern of usual tours by popular travels....

3)if u wanna make ur life bit comfy in kerala.....catch hold of ur mallu friend....n learn basic phrases in mallu....language prob does haunt u in kerala except in cities like trivandrum, cochin..
....i dint learn ne..but i am a champ in dumb charades....n dat helped...

4) get used to south indian food....its the only food u get ther...i mean u may get north indian food n also paav bhaaji ...or even delhi chat....but TRUST ME ppl....i wud PREFER FASTING ...than eating that...
even the best hotels serve hopeless north indian food....so JAI IDLI!! JAI DOSA!!JAI SAMBHAR!! N JAI HO...LOTS N LOTS OF RICE!!

remainin facts in next post....
hey btw....u must be wonderin what "couple andis" are ..welll in mallu they mean...ground nuts...
....hrd it when i went to the beach...n trust me wen i hrd dat it sounded so funny,...the hawker thot i was retard...

apologies for no recent posts..

2007-06-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

hey my apologies for temporarily discontinuing habit of bloggin.......the
reasons being -
1) as results wer out i was anxious ,n on getting surreptiously low grades ...(like i wasnt xpectin them...but fir bhi..) i was bit off mood to write it down shamelessly..

2) my kerala trip was planned way in advance....i spent most of the time durin my exams plannin for the trip n doing bookins n imaginin somebody massaging me in the spa(ahem ahem...).....rather what was obviously xpected....(no wonder results dint love me)

3)placements....after i returnd frm kerala.....not havin studied the entire vacs...i was bound to cut down on my comp usage..

4) the fight between gujjars n the meenas in rajasthan....well that cant exactly be a reason...but i wanted four reasonss...n cudnt think of nething better...

neways i m back...n wud like to fill the free space provided to me by blogspot.

knw vjti....how to make exam results?

2007-05-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

.......hush... ffffinaaalyy....results are out at vjti...
nw u mite say...whats new in results bein out....
let me remind u results at vjti....are more head-ache than watchin 10 aditya pancholi films back to back...bcos....its not that they are just declared n ppl see it..
its BIG PROCESS..WHICH NEEDS TO GO THROUGH PROPER CHANNEL...
the basic aim of the collg is
"MAKE STUDENT SUFFER IN EVERY GODDAMN THING ..TO MAKE THEM BETTER HUMAN BEINGS LATER".
forget the sufferin due to results...even the way we get it...can be a cheap bollywood potbolier...

if u dunno.....here are some of stunnin (ahem..) facts...

1) total mismanagement.....thers no or littl co-ordination between various depts. n of-course our lovely exam dept. staff...n dates of results r put up way in advance even b4 exams begin....never does one of them even contemplate whether their rusted ,snail slow,"tomorrow is a good day 2 start" kinda government mind-sets wud be able to do a ferrari...

2)opaquely transparent..at vjti..results n incorrigible errrors i.e guffaws(in our lingo..ZHOL)...dnt just go hand in ...but are married to each other..often the results are flawed n not pertainin to the parameters set by institute itself....even on payin hefty 500 bucks for reval...students are not allowed 2 see their papers ..
.(xtra info: mumbai univ...provides xerox copy of ur answer sheet for same amount...imagine findin ur rite ppr..frm over lacs of pprs....n at vjti..they find it DIFFICULT 2 do same frm 100 papers...)

3)malicious software.....for calculation of results under a GPA system is a complex process....which if to be perfectly observed cant be done without a software....n the exam authorities CLAIM to have the same...
.but unnamed sources claim the non-existence of ne such thing...n award of grades being done by some "kindergarten" method...huh...whats more..wen u go to have ur results u can see the staff calculatin ur gpa usin simple ORPAT calculators..
(xtra info: these are used by shopkeeepers at cash counter....)

exams....blitz krieg at vjti...

2007-05-13T01:19:00.000-07:00

as an ideal mumbai engineering student.....i believe (not only believe but also follow ardently)
in the universal engineerin credo of "studying in eleventh hour to save you skin" policy....so when exams approached suddenly....
yeah....exams do appear suddenly like some spooky ghost in some equally spooky hitchcock movie.....n when they come...u always knw its unfailingly gonna hit u hard....its funny feeling of prediction...comes only after experience of first year...
But silver lining at VJTI is....unlike university engineering exams ( which last almost a month...its said that its like a month long festival...when sometimes u have enuff holiday for a paper so much so...ppl prefer going 4 outing on weekend..cum back n resume wid exams)...exam affairs at VJTI is weekly matter.....
here are some of its characteristics:

1) the exam are announced way in advance like when the year starts...(.its like having nursery admissions for ur baby...when u can see the baby only in a sonograph.).but our new director...prefers to do just the same

2) the exams are generally immediately after sem lectures...i mean no PL...(huh...PL..ie preparatory leave is a luxury provided to pampered students of MU, which lasts almost a month and again last resort n opportunity to students to finally buy books n atleast read them)..so no PL 4 vjti ppl....hardly a week b4 exam starts...so no fuss bout having more time n wasting it..

3) the exams are back-to back...ie just a gap of 1 day for each paper...so just 1 day 2 study...so u dnt get bored....n b4 u feel the pain bout exams ..u r already plannin where 2 go wid ur frens after the xams..

n whats more...we have results within a week....huh....all in all a blitz-krieg....

trust me the profs (its considered derogatory 2 call them by that name) are always cursing our new dir..who makes them correct such papers within a week.....as compared to earlier...when a lore says " a vjti prof if lcuky can at the max in his full efficiency(?) correct 1 paper per day...,,phew it was joked that earlier sems results wud come just b4 next sems exams....so those doubtful of kt wud study without knwin results...hehe..

first blog...

2007-05-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

hi....this is my first blog...n i m NOT pretty excited as an ideal blogger should be....but i m feeling really nasty n surreptuously bored that i had to take bloggin as my last resort to vent up my views...i know i m being a bit cynical ,...but i guess thats what blogs are for ....to write whatever one feelss...i hope i wud be true to my blogs....n if neone ever reads my blog(GOD SAVE HIM!!) wud not have epilyptic seizures....neways happy blogging to myself....