PUNYANAGARI !!...(the city of good karma) part 1

PUNE......is abt 200 km frm mumbai...bt has existence of its own....n its reference goes back wid the history...... frm being the capital of Marathas n the Peshwas ..to being the recent IT capital...on the brink of overthrowin bengaloruu...
( a new lore in pune goes....if u throw a stone in the crowd, 9 out 10 times..it will hit an IT guy..no wonder IT has taken a hit nowadays... bad one..)

Neways dn wid pune intro....why did i land up there?...
first...some basics..
1) i m not new to pune...i was born in bhor taluka in pune...(nw no questions hw n why..dis is nt bollywood)...so i can be called a citizen of pune..by Principia Natura...dunno if dats correct..bt it shd mean citizenship by birth.
2) i had flat in pune till recently v sold dat off...why ..bcos the neighbours ther wernt sexy...no lame reasons man..
3)..i love pune...its ppl..its colleges..(der was a time i was seriously considerin doin engg at coep,pune....bcos it has a boat club in its campus...which other collg can boast bout that?)


so...if i m already a punekar...
(pls dnt make it puneite...it is criminal offence to call a citizen of pune by that name...)....whats new if i visit it once again...
there lies the fun....the thing is u cant get enuff of pune..in a lifetym..4get a in a few days stayin there)

my MISSION in pune:
my numerous hazardous attempts at givin every goddamn mba entrance exam paid off....finally some lower rung exam like snap..which the serious mba toppers avoid...made me the intelligent lame cow among calves...(srry for literal translation of marathi idiom )
...so...i got a GDPI call from symbiosis institutes...(some b-magazines list it 4th rank...among mba institutes in india...while some other magazines say..whers dat?)
point is ,,,since i m expectin a call frm better institutes in near future(...dats infinite time,..)i thot this wud b an opportunity to have a good match-practice..n so...

nw the intrview is in that part of pune..which i m not greatly familiar with....
add to that...the institute doesn clarify well the address of intrview process...

so i reach pune wid my friend alok....who had taken the same batch as mine for the process,,,who gave up his volvo dreams to accompany me by train to pune...n trust me the journey sucks wen its for a interview...dat tooo on chilld winter mornin..i cribbingly wore my "main hoon naa" imitation sweater...

nw at pune station...we ask for the bus to reach the place...
n i swear..all the ppl..we asked, guided us to diffrnt places ( so finally we ended up circling the station itself)....phew....n whats more they told us diffrnt bus numbers too...
some said 13, some 24, some 204, some 365....finally we wer like on seeing the bus...checking it frm the growin list of numbers we had...
.n Usool no. 1...everybody in pune..tells everything wid conviction n confidence..even if they dnt have the slightest idea of what that is....
so, frustrated...we ask the pmt( pune municipal transport?) conductor sittin in a tapri....n his reply....he spits out the red blood paan spray...some drops narrowly miss my special intrview pants...i frowned...bt he murmurs somethin as our answr....well i dunno what language was dat..bt surely nt marathi,hindi,english,gujarati or kannada..alok still doubts dat to be a paan accented tribal language...newayz i gues he was a bad conductor....oh bad one again...

neways wid the co-operation receivd frm ur friendly neighbourhood conductor....we decided to try our luck directly at a big bus-stop ahead...correction the stop wasnt big....bt the crowd in frnt was....as if some movie shoot was on....neways....
(NOTE: Usool 2: wen in pune....be at ur stingy best...irrespective of u havin a swiss bank acount....bt we wer early ..so dint take an auto...n decided to try our luck..wid bus)
we finally receive the appropriate bus no...dat too ,frm school kid...yes sarva shiksha abhiyaan is rite on track...
a big BUT.....the bus we wanted had just left...n ther wasnt going to be one..for an hour or so....

so relenting to fate...remember we had wrse to follow at gdpi....we decided to take n auto...

bt since i was a ded shaana guy...i enquired the rate of auto to go to the place wid ppl b4...so confidently sat in an auto ....
i dint notice...the wicked smile on auto-wallas face...ther was more to it...
..............................................................................................................................(to be contd.)

blog RESTART

finally after 5-6 months of lull on my blog ...i return to it ...for i a host of reasons ....primarily
1) i shifted to a new bigger house....
2) i got new and sexy neighbours...
3) i screwd up cmfortably in CAT,XAT ,FMS,IIFT,JMET n blah blah....whatevr possible mba entrance exams...so nothing left to do to while away my time...
4) my fone bill is more sky-rocketting than cheap mumbai taxi meters...
5) my new year resolution states no more junk food....
6) today republic day offers all the more reason to go public...huh..bad one again...
7) i have run out of episodes of prisonbreak...
8) tata nano will be out on roads only after nov 08.

AMMORES PASSPORTES…..

Now this is interesting……I am finally elated that after months of delay….due to technical reasons(huh…technical)..i applied for the passport….

N usherin India In the 21^st century…one is quite bogged down wid the IT hoopla n

e-governance associated wid it…huh..bottomline…they have SIMPLIFIED(?) the PROCESS..by online application procedure.

I was pleased wid the online form which gave exact time of appointment…

Ppl…the form gives u a time at which u have to report to submit the form..

I dreamt of the simple way of appplyin for passport..

My dream:

1) passport office is least crowded ….since u have APPOINTMENT..u dnt worry about LINE n stuff…

2) POLITE customer representatives guiding the the lay-man wid the required documents.

3) The atmosphere is pleasing…the wall posters show pics of various international cities n u stand there dreaming a plane to catch for the same…

Huh….but my dream was conspired against n not fulfilled,

courtesy Ministry of external affairs,Govt. of India.

REALITY:

1) passport office was ballooning wid ppl….u must have visit there to see just how many ppl wanna fly outta here…the line was a serpentine queue…like some rationing line…or someone said “ morning call” line in a chawl….

2) The officers there …..hmm…they belong to class knwn as “ impoliteness in our blood”…HELP is the last thing they can ever do…

Added monstrosity: u have to get a sign on ur documents frm a short thick man wid Charlie moustache…”decendant of HITLER” is written on his face….like a crazy bull-dog he BARKS on every person who goes 2 him….an agent said to me “if he doesn bark at u, b aassured that ur form is gonna get rejected…”

3) the office is crowded….wid the police shoving us…like we r some bhaiyya

gettinng down frm some mahanagri express…again POLITENESS is the word of

the day…

RESULT:

after 3 hours in the line….n 2 n half hours after my scheduled time…I finally reached the counter….the clock showed “LUNCH TIME”…I for the first time in my life …started prayin fervently..to delay the lunch time…

N GOODNESS GRACIOUS SAKES ALIVE….the lady behind the counter smiled……n like some goddess in some ramanand sagar serial….said “ child ,dnt worry, I will do it”… was I hearing right?…at the moment I felt all the pain against sloth government offices vanish ….i had found a person defyin government standards…I felt like rewardin her with 100 bucks…(but I rerfrained frm doing it as dat wud considerd BRIBE)…my work was done…n went straight to a hotel for a treat.

CONCLUSION

Our mother India loves us very much…n our government (ministry of external affairs) plays like a big brother n helps our mother from not parting away wid her children(dats us) to other mothers(dats other countries we aim 4).

.As a part of the plan…it complicates the passport process…

one has to be really determined to clear dat hurdle…

I cleared it….may GOD give u the strength ..

Kool quotient in gods country

hey...if nebodys wonderin in how to be kool in kerala in terms of attire...
here are some kool dressing tips for boys....
( a mallu gal confided these appealin tips to me on condtions of anonymity)


1) moustache + lungi == kool

2) moustache + beard + lungi+ heavy gold chain == super kool

3) moustache+ beard + lungi + heavy gold chain + harley davidson belt on lungi == ultra cool

4) moustache+ beard+ lungi+ heavy gold chain + harley davidson belt on lungi + riding sports bike == mallu superstar

Kerala trip n the couple undis....part 2

some more facts bout kerala::

5)kerala is spectacularly clean state......pls dont litter n spoil tourist places...
( Wen i accidently threw down a wrapper on the road....the taxiwallah said..."sir, this is not mumbai"...INSULTING BUT VERY TRUE..)
(ppl of mumbai may note....kerala has NO STRAY DOGS N NO HAWKERS CLOGGING ROADS.....ppl fed by both these menaces may consider shiftin to kerala)

6)water n coconuts everywhere....in every frame u can imagine...

7)NO BOLLYWOOD PLEASE: in kerala they have their own big film industry..i gues MALLUWOOD...churnin out more movies than bollywood......film stars MOHANLAL N MAMMOOTY are worshipped after LORD AYYAPPA..

8) if u are fat , have a moustache or beard....then u are perfect hero material in kerala....or atleast u can try ur luck in hoards on mallu channels springing up everyday

for girls more scope…if u r little bit fair…n sort of slim…n have good attitude ….then u are as rare as a DODO.. in kerala…wen u wake up next morn u are mallu superstar..

9) in almost every temple in kerala...men are required to go bare chested wearing only a lungi,,...n women are required to wear sarees...so dnt forget takin lungis n sarees with u on sight seeing everyday...

10) boats are a essential part of life n tourism in kerala....almost every alternate day...u wud be sitting in a boat...

Kerala trip n the couple undis....

hey,....me recently been to kerala n trust me ,
if those ktdc(duh...kerala tourism development corp.) ppl...aggresively advertise it as Gods' country....
they do it...bcos...it truly is....be there to believe it..!!

here are some of basic facts n tips for kerala..

1) kerala is a very beautifull place...pls dont make the blundr of carryin cheap cameras or depending on ur cam phones.....pls carry a proper digi cam....with zoom n all features

2) if u want a bit of reality....dnt book ur tour....just travel alone wid family there....(the advantage of doin this is of course going alone does make ur tour flexible n cost effective ..also..u get to experience the real life...the fun in not knwing the language thre...n still wanting to convey something...) me just booked the return tickets....n other everything of tour we decided there....of course...we followed the pattern of usual tours by popular travels....

3)if u wanna make ur life bit comfy in kerala.....catch hold of ur mallu friend....n learn basic phrases in mallu....language prob does haunt u in kerala except in cities like trivandrum, cochin..
....i dint learn ne..but i am a champ in dumb charades....n dat helped...

4) get used to south indian food....its the only food u get ther...i mean u may get north indian food n also paav bhaaji ...or even delhi chat....but TRUST ME ppl....i wud PREFER FASTING ...than eating that...
even the best hotels serve hopeless north indian food....so JAI IDLI!! JAI DOSA!!JAI SAMBHAR!! N JAI HO...LOTS N LOTS OF RICE!!

remainin facts in next post....
hey btw....u must be wonderin what "couple andis" are ..welll in mallu they mean...ground nuts...
....hrd it when i went to the beach...n trust me wen i hrd dat it sounded so funny,...the hawker thot i was retard...

apologies for no recent posts..

hey my apologies for temporarily discontinuing habit of bloggin.......the
reasons being -
1) as results wer out i was anxious ,n on getting surreptiously low grades ...(like i wasnt xpectin them...but fir bhi..) i was bit off mood to write it down shamelessly..

2) my kerala trip was planned way in advance....i spent most of the time durin my exams plannin for the trip n doing bookins n imaginin somebody massaging me in the spa(ahem ahem...).....rather what was obviously xpected....(no wonder results dint love me)

3)placements....after i returnd frm kerala.....not havin studied the entire vacs...i was bound to cut down on my comp usage..

4) the fight between gujjars n the meenas in rajasthan....well that cant exactly be a reason...but i wanted four reasonss...n cudnt think of nething better...

neways i m back...n wud like to fill the free space provided to me by blogspot.